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A. Domestic
Program
Come into office when there’s a huge federal budget surplus, and declare the surplus
a sign that taxes are too high.
When the economy falters, and the surplus shrinks, say this is proof that a tax break is needed.
Reduce taxes to the richest segment of society; watch passively while the deficit swells and job growth remains either negative or anemic.
Actively promote job outsourcing to increase corporate profits; imply that the displaced workers need only stop being lazy and get training for new, better jobs; ignore the fact that what job growth remains is in low paying service jobs such as food server.
Appoint industry executives and lobbyists to high positions in federal agencies chartered to regulate the
same industries they came from and to
which they will return; this results in clear-cutting "to prevent forest fires", removal of mountain tops to get at coal and thereby "create potential golf courses", clean air standards that increase mercury release, clean water standards that poison the water, and political lawyers editing scientific reports to
cover up evidence of global warming, which could be detrimental to energy industry profits!
Consult with oil giants to devise an energy policy that declines to address tighter fuel economy standards and gives oil companies tax breaks to
amplify their untaxed windfall profits.
Reduce taxes to the richest segment of society again and again; when you yourself question if this is a good idea, accept the admonition to
"stick to the plan".
Take money from the Social Security Trust Fund yearly to partially offset federal spending while trying to sell the public on a risky SS privatization plan that will benefit Wall Street; tell the public this is
needed because at some future time SS will not be able to pay out 100 percent of expected entitlements, but neglect to mention that this is mainly because you’re presently robbing it.
Remember to appoint anti-abortion, fundamentalist jurists for the Religious Right
to help them in their culture war, which aims to reverse the feminist/sexual revolution brought about by the birth control pill;
remember, you can’t hold on to power without maintaining a coalition with these jokers,
but not to worry, because upper class girls will still have access to birth control and abortion if you actually end up having to deliver.
With real wages diminishing, people running up credit card balances and bleeding off equity in their houses to maintain their standard of living, with housing prices artificially high and apt to burst, and
with the ground coming up fast for an economy in freefall, let your pals in the lending and banking industry tighten up the
rules for the little guy trying to file for bankruptcy; this should be made easy by cooperative Senate Democrats, who like you are corporate money whores, but who must never wear their corporate T-shirts around the house while the curtains are open.
Never mention campaign finance reform, because that leads to democracy, which is an attenuated form of socialism; pretend that the same (Republican-owned) company that makes ATM’s which
print
a receipt with every transaction cannot possibly make a voting machine that does so.
Most important, be sure to inculcate fear into the population so they will give up their civil rights in exchange for perceived protection; this will make it easy for your successor to take the reigns.
B.
Military Program
Omit any reference to intended future preemptive invasions from political campaign speeches;
poise to piggyback dreamed-of war on some national tragedy.
Conduct war on the cheap; finance it on nation’s Beijing MasterCard.
Destroy infrastructure during the invasion, then step back and naively expect the invisible hand of the marketplace to put the pieces back
together; have your resident psychotic dismiss the ensuing fiasco by saying
"democracy is messy".
Use jingoism to intimidate opposition critics into silence; fire all internal
critics, e.g. Generals Shinseki, Powell, etc, as needed.
From the pulpit and through the complicit media, instruct your supporters to say they are "for the troops", when truthfully they support the war primarily out of
Republican Party loyalty; they are unlikely to even know anyone sent to fight in Iraq, don’t care to know what troops’ deprivations and hardships are, or
how they are being shortchanged, from deployment through rehabilitation.
Build permanent fortresses in Iraq as lily pads for incursion into neighboring countries; declare faux victory in
Orwellian manner when the exhausted military must either be drawn down or reinforced with draftees. |
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